Thanks to Orthas and Weiner for providing this data, and to those who contributed to it.
General notes: "Large" refers to the Large Ushers upstairs. Some of the balcony mobs in the box seats are 10-15% bigger than the Large Ushers and may have amusing-slash-annoying specials.
C2 Classes? Ushers, Large Ushers, Angrys Bodyguard? Lvl 33: Usher: 75k Guard: 161k Angry: 122k Large: Lvl 37: Usher: Guard: Angry: Large: Lvl 46: Usher: 250k Guard: Angry: 600k Large: Lvl 48: Usher: 300k Guard: 860k Angry: Large: 450k Lvl 54: Usher: 394k Guard: 1M Angry: 756k Large: 830k Lvl 59: Usher: 425k-500k Guard: Angry: 950k-1M Large: 1.2M Lvl 62 Usher: ~500k Guard: Angry: 1.1m Large: 1.4m Lv 72: Usher: 561k-668k Guard: 1.7m Angry: 1.35m Large: 2.1m-2.9m Lv 76: Usher: 700k-850k Guard: 2.1m Angry: 1.5m Large: 3m Lv 81: Usher: 750k Guard: 2.5M Angry: 1.8M Large: 3.5M Lv 86: Usher: 0.9m-1.1m Guard: 3.0m Angry: 2.1m Large: 4.2m Lv 91: Usher: 1.1m Guard: 3.0m Angry: 2.6m Large: 6.3m U2: Larry: 3.6m 1 attack/round Adam: 1m 3 attacks/round Edge: 3.6m 1 attack/round (big special) Bono: 3.5m 1 attack/round Mel: Throws unequiped items to first floor (A black onyx ring. 3 edged, decent blunt, 1 fire, 1 acid, 2 electric, 2 mind, 2 poison, 2 radiation) 3.6m Paris: 3.7m then FooFoo: 500k Lv 96: Usher: 1.3M Guard: 3.6M Angry: 2.9M Large: 5.5M Lv 101: Usher: 1.5M Guard: 3.7M Angry: 3.5M Large: 7.7M lv 106: Usher: 1.6M Guard: 3.9M Angry: 3.2M Large: 8.8m lv 111: Usher: 1.6M Guard: 3.9M Angry: 3.3M Large: 7.7M lv 116: Usher: 1.4m-2.0m Guard: 3.9m Angry: 3.2m-3.7m Large: 8.7m lv 121: Usher: Guard: Angry: Large: lv 126: Usher: Guard: Angry: Large: lv 131: Usher: 2.2m Guard: 4.9m Angry: Large: 9.8m - 11m lv 138: Usher: 1.9m - 2.4m Guard: 5.2m Angry: 4.1m Large: 10.8m